The West Commences: Christmas with mom and dad

It’s Thursday, December 18, exactly one week before Christmas for most of us. But it’s Christmas day at Shannon Oaks, where mom and dad live. Dad could care less, but it came as a surprise to mom when she heard about it last night at dinner. They are having Christmas dinner tonight followed by entertainment, the Police choir singing carols. It sounds much more promising than the group that entertained us on Tuesday night, a neighborhood choir whose master admitted that he was challenging them with some of the works he had chosen. The audience was polite, but there were many who commented afterward that the choir had not met the challenge. Mom wanted me to attend tonight’s concert as an antidote but she was told that this special evening was for residents only. I am not too disappointed because it will give me a break from camp Boyce to visit Ross and Elizabeth Murray. They are in Victoria with family but will be leaving on Dec.23. I was hoping to find time before then to see them and now I have it. I had coffee this morning with Barbara and Terry, I will have lunch at Shannon Oaks and then visit with Ross and Elizabeth in the afternoon. It’s quite a relaxed life, and I’m enjoying it while I can because I still can’t shake the underlying doubts I have about what the future holds for mom and dad.

Dad is really drifting. If he’s not shocked to attention by mom’s inquisitions, he sits and fiddles with his hearing aid (a pocket talker), rustles the newspaper rather than reading it or rises slowly on his walker to wheel himself to his bed where he lies supine and snoring loudly for hours. Mom says that sound is music to her ears; it assures her that he’s still with us. He pushes himself to the limit every day just to shave, dress and make it to meals. They have finally decided to have a woman come once a week to help him have a good wash. They both eat well and are pleased with that. It’s funny because my dad always said that you eat to live and not the reverse. When Jay was young and I congratulated him for eating his whole dinner, he mumbled that children shouldn’t be praised for eating good food. Now they praise each other for eating well. But dad is still picky. We made a considerable effort to go out shopping and for lunch yesterday. It took us to Hillside Mall, where dad has always enjoyed the Tim Horton’s English muffin breakfast. We were too late in the day for that, so mom ordered a turkey sub, which they shared. It was too mixed up and piled with lettuce for him. As we drove home he made the pronouncement that Tim’s had gone too far into modern taste innovations and we wouldn’t be going back there.

One of the joys of being in Victoria is walking along the ocean. I choose a different strip each day and walk quickly in one direction for about 45min. and then amble back to the car.