Dad died on January 30, 2015

Dad died at 2:00am on Friday, January 30.  He had been taken to the hospital on Sunday night because of a fall.  Mom thought he would be out in a day, but when I got home from skiing on Tuesday there were 2 phone messages for me.  One was a doctor who said that as much as she didn’t like to state it coldly over the phone, dad would not likely survive.  The other was mom who said that Bill was on his way to Victoria and I should come too.  I left Vernon at 7:30am Wednesday, thinking he might die before I saw him and glad that at least we had enjoyed a good Christmas together.  At that time we had shared a couple of looks and comments that we both understood to mean that we doubted we would be together for another.  I had not thought he would fail so quickly though. 

His final struggle was like all the others in his life, long and hard.  He did not go easily into that good night.  Mom stayed with him all Wednesday night.  When Bill and I arrived at the hospital Thursday morning, she looked good for a 93-year-old woman who had had only 4 hours of sleep.  We all stayed with him all that day.  Bill and I finally convinced mom to go home around 11:00pm.  The hospital phoned her at 2:00am to say dad had died, but she was so sound asleep that Bill didn’t wake her.  He called me at Barbara and Terry’s as we had planned.  I was so sound asleep that Barbara had to come down and wake me.  We decided to do nothing until morning.  Mom and dad are members of The Memorial Society of BC and through them to Earth’s Option Cremation and Burial Service in Victoria.  Between the two, we were able to settle everything easily.  We had all dressed up in anticipation of some need to go places and do things, but all was managed in mom’s place with the help of one man.  We felt so relieved that when Bill suggested we have a small wake, mom and I agreed.  We went to The Snug at The Oak Bay Beach Hotel.  Even mom had a glass of Grimbergen, a Belgian beer.  We had a great waitress, good food, a few real laughs and a walk on the balcony.  It was the right thing to do at the right time.

On Saturday, mom had a cold, so she stayed home.  Bill and I went for a drive to Sooke.  We walked all around the Sooke Potholes, had lunch in a good old bar, walked along Wiffen Spit and drove home to find mom in bed, very ill.  She was shaking, coughing and had called the doctor.  He arrived soon after we did and said her blood pressure was dangerously high and one lung sounded full of fluid.  We drove her right away to the emergency ward of the Royal Jubilee Hospital where she is at the moment.  She’s not in good shape, but everything possible is being done for her.  They’re not sure if she has RSV (a virus that usually hits children), which is what dad had or pneumonia or both.  She has non of the weariness with life that dad had, so I think she’ll pull through, but she looks very weak and tiny in the hospital bed and she can’t get comfortable and sleep as she should because lying down makes her PHN flare up.

I’m at her place now, and Bill is with her.  He will come here to watch the Super Bowl around 3:00pm, and I will replace him at the hospital. 

More anon

Mom walking in the garden at the Royal Jubilee Hospital.  Note the glorious heather.

The Wake at The Oak Bay Beach Hotel

Raising a glass to dad