Back in the Okanagan

I did make it to Kelowna, and Peggie picked me up.  How wonderful.  I’ve had a lot of help from my friends and relations. I’ve also lugged my heavy, old suitcase with the minuscule wheels over cobblestones, up and down stairs and through long airport hallways.  This time I had spent from 1:00a.m. ‘til 6:00a.m. in the almost empty Vancouver airport ticket and baggage zone waiting for the doors to open into the warm and carpeted lounges.  I did sleep, flat on my back on a bank of four, meagerly padded chairs for about 31/2 of those hours, and because the place was empty I had time to teach myself how to use the automated flight registration and seat selection machines, so I’m now a much more savvy flyer.  But I was mighty happy to enter the lounge at 6, order coffee and a breakfast bagel at Tim Horton’s and spend the rest of my wait warm and comfortably reading.  In spite of the fact that the book I was finishing, Garlic and Sapphires by Ruth Reichl, was about her extravagant disguises and wonderful meals as restaurant critic for the ‘New York Times’, I savored my Tim Horton’s breakfast with an unjaded palate. 

Now I’m in Bert and Peg’s suite, completely unpacked for the first time in 6 weeks and after 4 days of organization and laundry, looking forward to March in Hawaii.  What a wonderful winter I’m having.  The movement and change of it all has helped to keep ‘black care’ from my saddle much of the time.

 I’ve always enjoyed spending time alone, but living with myself alone all the time is different.  I miss hearing Jim’s point of view.  At times it was less positive than mine, but that’s not all bad.  He read more about politics, world events, films and American life and literature than I did, and listening to what he had to say in these areas, as I was cooking dinner or as we sat together, was one of the joys of my life.  I also miss his reading of sections of books or newspaper articles to me. Sometimes his curt, earthy comments cracked me up and gave me my best laughs.  He used to get real guffaws out of Rod Steers too.  I also miss seeing the brilliant sparkle in his eyes when he was sometimes charmed by me.  He was better at parceling time than I am.  He put certain things aside to do another day, while my inclination is to rush in and either have the fun or get the crap done right away.  I’ve got myself into trouble without his presence to slow me down.  I miss feeling him beside me. And learning to accept full responsibility for my actions is not easy.  There’s no one to secretly suspect of, somehow, being at the heart of the problem, and neither is that same person there to help resolve it.  Most recently, I trashed Skype in a moment of fury and it took about 4 hours at the computer to finally start up and get running a whole new account.  Jim set up the original and would have handled the whole affair.  The only positive aspect is that I have to face the reality of what I’m like and maybe I’ll learn about myself and about how to do a few more things.

I’m happy to be back in the crisp, clear air of the Okanagan.  There’s been a lot of sunshine since I returned, so once I finished the pressing work of unpacking, paying the overdue storage bill for my furniture, doing laundry and buying groceries, I was able to go for walks.  The day I returned to Knox Mountain was quite warm.  The next day was cold, -3 and windy so I went to where I knew there would be sun, the shore of Lake Okanagan along the waterfront of Kelowna.  I enjoyed being back.  Maybe that’s a sign that I will settle into life in Vernon.  On the other hand, hearing from Caroline, Mela and Micheline makes me wish I were back in the Gatineau.  We’ll see what time brings.