The West Commences: June 16, 2012

It’s Saturday, June 16, two weeks since I left Incheon. When I look at my watch, I still sometimes calculate what time it is there and imagine what Jay, May and the girls might be doing. It’s about 2pm here, so it’s 6am on Sunday morning there. They will be sleeping, some of them snoring. I’m relaxing and writing in Barbara and Terry’s flat in Vic. West. At around 4, I will drive to mom and dad’s place for dinner. I took Bill and Paula to the airport to catch their plane back to Thunder Bay at 10:30 this morning. Tomorrow mom and dad are going to take Barbara, Terry and me to a pub for lunch to celebrate my 66^th birthday. In Korean my age will be, ‘yuk ship yuk’.

Bill, Paula and I had lots of laughs in Korean this holiday, especially after a bit of beer or wine and when we were hiking on Galiano and Salt Spring Islands. We referred to each other as ‘ajjashi’ for Bill and ‘ajama’ for Paula and me. I know my spelling is wrong, but we had the pronunciation pat by the time we got back to the ‘Big Island’, which is the name the locals give to Vancouver Island. I had brought both my bikes to Victoria, but only Bill used one of them once. From the moment we arrived on Galiano, we hiked. Among us we had enough aches and pains to use as excuses for not biking, and it didn’t take us long to justify this decision by saying how inestimably better it was to walk through the wonderful rain forests looking at slugs and snails and to climb up to spectacular cliffs and lookouts than to ride on roads up exhausting hills. We did get to great lookouts. When we arrived, we climbed up Mount Galiano and ate lunch at the high point looking out over ocean, islands, boats and a couple of bald eagles. Some turkey vultures feasted on what was left of our chicken. Our first B and B was at the north end of the island. We drove through wetlands, got lost and were not in the best moods when we arrived at it, but after a gin and tonic, some pickled herring and Salt Spring goat brie, on the deck of the neighboring cabin, overlooking the ocean and other islands, we had no complaints. Because we stayed there, we were able to walk to Dionisio Point, an amazing rocky point at the north end of the island that is supposed to be approached only by boat. We spent 2 nights on Galiano, met some locals and frequented a local pub, The Hummingbird. Then we went to Salt Spring Island where we found, after a considerable search, a B and B run by 2 gay guys from California and their numerous ducks and geese, one of whom was recovering in a big dog-carrying case after being attacked by a mink. They had spent a lot of money for its treatment at the vet’s, but from the sounds of its loud honking, it was well worth it. There were also 2 deer, a fawn and a rabbit on the place, to say nothing of the millions of tent caterpillars. All the islands are plagued by them this year. We relaxed in the hot tub and watched the wildlife. Again, we found a good pub, ate local mussels and oysters, drove and walked to see some spectacular views and enjoyed each other’s company.

We returned to Victoria to visit with the parents, celebrate the occasions that had brought us together originally, mom’s 91^st birthday and their 70^th anniversary, and continue working through what became the central focus of the whole time, mom and dad’s dilemma about when and where to move into assisted living. They are both frail now, especially dad. Nothing was decided, but a good deal of steam was released. By talking about it, thinking and talking again, we now have a clearer idea of what each of us can do to make their transition from the independence they love to the help they will soon require as successful as possible. They’re still not quite ready, but they now see that the time is fast approaching.