Jules' funeral

Jules’ ashes were buried with Florence in a very brief ceremony yesterday.  It was the finale of a three-day funeral service that began on Sunday evening with prayers at Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic Church in West Kelowna.  The fact that Jules was a devout Catholic who had contributed a great deal to the parish was well recognized in his funeral on Monday morning.  The priest, whose prayers and readings at both the Sunday and Tuesday ceremonies were awkwardly delivered in a monotone that seemed almost perfunctory, gave a thoughtful sermon.  The readings that Jules had chosen were very well read, especially that by his oldest granddaughter, Lisa.  The music he had selected elevated my spirit; I was moved too close to tears to be able to join some of the congregation who sang with the three women whose wonderful voices combined with the guitarist to lead the singing.  Bert delivered a eulogy at the end that eloquently expressed the stages of his father’s life and the essence of his spirit.  Jules’ fellow Knights of Columbus were present in full and colorful regalia.  One of them spoke of Jules’ contribution to his parish, and eight of them accompanied the body as it left the church.  There was even an element of humor at the ceremony.  Before the service began, Rob’s wife, Johanna, who was wearing a black ‘fascinator’ mentioned to me that she had been a bit worried about appearing to be too flamboyant as the only one with something on her head until the Knights arrived in their multi-colored, feathered cocked hats and flowing satin robes.  Her outfit was suitably subdued by comparison.

The extended family that arrived for the funeral gathered, talked, celebrated, ate, drank and were generally sustained at Bert and Peggy’s house.  Fortunately, it’s big and the weather was mostly clement, so we had a fine gathering.  As always happens at these times, funerals, weddings, etc., the connection among family members is reinforced.  Jay was missed; although, everyone understood that it would have been too difficult for him to make the journey.  Mark and David were perhaps a bit overwhelmed by the delighted and powerful hugs I greeted them with, but I associate them so much with Jay that I couldn’t resist.   Bert and Peg’s ‘kids’ really did a lot of work to make all the meals delicious and to help entertain and transport family members.  They were happy to have all four of them together for the first time in a while.  I had a good visit with Danny and Rita, who stayed with me.  Jules’ death marks the end of most of his generation of Van de Vyveres.  Though we were often talking, laughing and drinking Bert’s wine, it was sobering at times to sit among the members of my generation, now on the front line, at one end of Bert’s long deck and look over to the other end where the next generation was gathered doing much the same things as we were but with more smart phones in evidence.

Dad is scheduled to get out of hospital this Thursday.  I hope he does and that all goes well because mom is nearing the end of her ability to handle life alone in the apartment. As Maggie Muggins used to say as she skipped off at the end of her show, “I don’t know what will happen tomorrow”.

Dad in hospital with Marilyn and another friend from his church