April 28, 2014

I’ve been writing these blogs on a Monday for quite a while now.  It’s become my day for collecting thoughts, cleaning and doing the limited amount of cooking that I do.  When we Skyped, Jay was at school again, finishing up marking.  We had the usual good chat, except today’s was darkened by the details he told me, that I had not heard in spite of the coverage we’re getting on CBC, about the sinking of the ferry in S. Korea.  Accounts of the state of some of the students’ bodies seem to indicate that their deaths were neither quick nor without fear and desperate struggle.  We were both nearly in tears at the thought of their youth and suffering.  No wonder the Prime Minister of S. Korea resigned.  To me, it had seemed an extreme move and quite far from the point when I first heard of it on the news last week, but as Jay explained the Korean culture of authority and responsibility, I began to understand how such a grave tragedy would require that a person of very high rank be chosen almost as a sacrifice to the grieving families, nothing less would be sufficient.  We ended our conversation on a lighter note.  The rain had stopped in Incheon and Jay was going to ride his bike home at just past midnight. I made breakfast and coffee and was picked up by a friend, Russel, to go with her to scout her upcoming Ramble on East Vernon Hill.  After almost a week of rain and cool weather, yesterday and today have been beautiful.  Tomorrow, the day I lead the Ramble on the Anderson Ranch to Goose Lake, is supposed to be sunny, with the temperature rising to 18c.  The bright, young greens, yellows and whites of spring are back.

A small waterfall on the way down from Shannon Woods Bluff near West Kelowna

My friend Priscilla looking up at the falls after crossing the stream at the bottom

Coldstream Valley and Terrace Mountain from East Vernon Hill

Arrowleaf Balsam Root / Okanagan Sunflower on East Vernon Hill

 

Spring in Vernon

It’s a dull Monday in Vernon.  I have the feeling of being lost in time that I often get after Skyping with Jay, but intensified.  Today, he was in his office after having taught his Monday classes and stayed late to prepare tests while I was still bleary-eyed, sucking on an orange and wearing a hoody over my pajamas.  Adding to my disorientation is the fact that I’ve also stepped seasonally back in time this week by driving from Victoria to Vernon.  That’s actually a good thing, and I’m slowly adjusting to it.  I caught late spring and the end of the blossom season on the island and arrived here to find spring beginning with forsythia, daffodils and Okanagan sunflowers just coming into bloom.  It’s a transition from predominantly pink to bright yellow.  The leaves here are much less green.  The Easter Sunday hike yesterday was a good one.  It was a sunny day and the temperature rose to 17c.  But we did walk through patches of snow on Bluenose. 

My visit with mom and dad was better than I had hoped for.  They are just able to cope alone in their apartment with help for food, cleaning, bathing, etc.  They still get out a bit, but I was happy to be able to drive them to a few more distant spots and on some errands.  They watch a lot of tennis, hockey and news on tv and sometimes get overwhelmed by the outside world.  There are so many horrific tragedies: never ending war in Syria and elsewhere, a plane mysteriously lost off the coast of Australia and the sinking of the ferry full of high school graduates on their way to celebrate on Jeju Island off the south coast of South Korea.  There’s even more violence in hockey than they are used to.  It’s all a bit overwhelming for anyone, let alone two people in their nineties.  On a lighter note, I shortened pants for both of them; they are shrinking like wool in hot water.  Dad, a classic jazz man, looked like a rapper with his good pants gathering in folds around his Adidas.  They did appreciate one aspect of the 21^st century while I was with them.  We Skyped with Jay and dad had a good chat.  He was thrilled to sit in his dining room chair and talk to his grandson way off in Korea about what life is like for him there.  As my stay neared its end, I bought and planted the yellow pansies that mom always has on the balcony but was too tired to put together this year.  They in turn sent me a beautiful spring bouquet, which brightens up the house.    

For the first time, I took Highway 1 out of Hope on the drive home.  I was exhilarated at first as I went along the Fraser Canyon and Thompson River to Cache Creek.  Then, the rolling hills covered in sagebrush were also a pleasant change from the Coquihalla and Connector, but it became long and tiring by the time I had to pass through Kamloops and drop down into Vernon.  I’ll do it again though but on the drive to Vancouver so as to be on the right side of the road for looking down the canyon.   

Easter Sunday, snow on the hike up Bluenose

The Nanking Cherry, Korean Forsythia and Japanese Red Barberry in front of the house

The same in the opposite order

April 14, 2014

The dizzying round of restaurant lunches with mom and dad is drawing to a close.  They still get out on their own in the car with mom driving, oh, my shattered nerves, but the radius of their excursions is becoming shorter and shorter, so they enjoy going a bit farther a few times with me driving.  We had one trip that was wearing on all of us because we aimed at a place they remembered as being an easy drive away on quiet roads.  Well, that was about 20 years ago and the route Google maps suggested was anything but peaceful; it involved highways that didn’t even exist the last time they went.  We finally reached our destination after being flung off in the wrong direction at two exits and having to stop at both to ask how to get back on the right road.  I don’t know if the destination was worth the effort it took to get there, but it was on the ocean and we saw lots of swans and ducks.  Heading home, we were able to take the quieter route and calm down to such an extent that we realized we were hungry.  We were able to do something they’ve missed for a few years, have an A&W burger.  That was the highlight of the day.  They’ve also been happy to take Barbara and Terry and their friend Marilyn for lunch at the Marina, which means I’ve been there twice and had oysters both times.  These fancier occasions have meant that mom and dad have worn their better clothes.  In so doing, they have confirmed their suspicions that they are getting shorter by the month.  I have now shortened both of their ‘good’ pants.  It’s so easy for me to do, but mom says she can’t face any work like that any more.  Each time I see them they are able to do less but their will to stay together in their apartment has not wavered.  It’s only that iron will that keeps them there.  Mom’s legs still work but she tires easily now and dad has no feeling in his legs or feet so he completely depends on the strength of his arms and the power of his will.  The other day at the Marina restaurant, he was not aware of the fact that his feet were not flat on the floor as he was preparing to push his walker away from the booth where we had been sitting, but when I told him that, he lowered his heels and moved on out.  Yesterday was sunny and warm, and we all enjoyed our Sunday, Tim Horton’s breakfast in the car at Willows Beach and then walked quite a long way along the water. 

I’ve spent most of the afternoons by the water while mom and dad are napping and gone on a couple of good walks with Barbara and Terry along the Gorge, the Galloping Goose and in the area of Vic West, so in spite of the frustration that is part of every visit here, there’s a lot that’s positive.  I have a holiday in a beautiful place and being with parents who are in their nineties makes me feel that I’m faster than a speeding bullet and capable of performing amazing tasks. 

A windy afternoon on Clover Point

Parts of Oak Bay became Gracepoint for the filming of a tv series of that name that was going on while I was here this time.  Nick Nolte's in it, but I didn't see him.

Lunch at the Marina with Barbara and Terry

Babara and Terry by a mural on the Galloping Goose path

April in Victoria

Things are going well in Victoria.  The weather was perfect last Wednesday, so I took the good old Coquihalla.  As I haven’t bought any new maps for Tom Tom, he got confused as I entered the new stretch of highway that approaches the ferry terminal at Tsawwassen, but I had anticipated this and was watching the signs, even if it involved speeding past huge trucks to keep them in clear view.  I made it to the ferry in record time but then had an hour and a half to kill waiting for the three o’clock ferry.

Mom and dad surprised me by being much more chipper than I had expected.  Mom has had a couple of bouts of leveling, late afternoon nerve pain but otherwise things have been going well.  We’ve been shopping for things mom really needed, I’ve cleaned the vacuum cleaner bag and got it working again (This is becoming an expensive maintenance plan), the balcony is spruced up for the warm weather season, we’ve been to Tim’s followed by walks at Willows Beach twice and done some of the other ritual things, so all is mostly well.

Staying at Barbara and Terry’s is, as always, a holiday for me, especially as it has been combined with a walk along the Gorge followed by lunch at a nearby, slice-of-local-life Chinese Buffet on Saturday and coffee and chats every morning. 

April in Victoria

And again

And again

Some eccentric fences and a quaint old home on Gonzales Beach 

The front yard of the home with the eccentric fence

I've been reading Barbara and Terry's old 'New Yorkers' and realizing how much I miss their cartoons.  As 'the bucket list' craze has always caught in my craw, I got a real roar out of this one.