Sunday, July 26

It's 9:00pm and all's well. Life has been chaotic lately. I was ready for a change, but to quote Monty Python, " Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."  After four years of living in Vernon,fairly quietly and alone, I have spent more time in the last eight months in Victoria than Vernon, been with my mom, dad and Bill more than I have in years, lost my parents at 94 and 95 years old respectively and started living with Jay, May, Min Hee and Jin Hee. If old dogs can't learn new tricks, I'm doomed. But I'll do my best. 

Bill drove back to Vernon with me and stayed two nights. That taxed our two bedroom, one bathroom house a bit, but Jay's mob all bedded down in his and May's room, Bill had the girls' spot in the sunroom, May cooked some terrific food, Jay grilled burgers in his new barbecue/smoker on the patio he made last week and we had a good visit.

Jay drove Bill to catch a plane for Grand Prairie at 5:00am this morning and went back to bed when he returned. I rose around 8:30, put my "Morning T'ai Chi for Beginners" cd into the laptop and followed along with the young man who stands on the sand by the sea and explains every move as he does it. Doing this at the start of every day has helped me face the changes. I've renewed it from the library at least five times. We finally all got on the move around 11:00. We drove up to Silver Star for a short hike and coffee at Bugaboos'. The rest of the day has been quiet. It's 9:50pm now, and we're all in our quarters. Tomorrow we begin the first full week of our life together. 

Australian jugglers that Bill and I watched one evening at the inner harbour in Victoria. 

Kayaking with Bill in a double kayak in Victoria 

Hiking with Jay, Jin Hee, Min Hee and May at Silver Star. 

July 16, 2015

I left Jay, May and the girls in Vernon last Thurs. and drove back to Victoria to work with Bill on all that has to be done now that mom and dad have left the only life that we who remain know of. It's very strange to be here without them. I have come here so often, with and without Jim, staying with Barbara and Terry. They remain a constant in this experience, and I don't think I could have survived it all without being able to join them for coffee and conversation almost every morning. I'm still grateful for that, but it's hard to adjust to the reality that the main reason for my being here is no longer mom and dad. It's a sadly liberating sensation.  Bill and I have been working well together, and, as Bill excells at finding whatever's a good thing to do in a given place, having some adventures too. His partner Sharon has been here for a few days, so I have now met her and enjoyed some good times with them.  I'm going to meet them this morning to go for a bike ride on the Galloping Goose. 

I rented a bright blue bike yesterday afternoon and went for a ride by myself on the GG in the direction of Sydney. It was perfect weather, easy biking and I peddled on and on, stopping to buy lemonade and rest under a tree, at which point Bill phoned me. After our talk, as I put my iPhone back in my jacket pocket, I realised I didn't have my keys with me. End of glorious ride!  I peddled back to Barbara and Terry's as fast as I could, powered by my legs and sheer panic. I had been lucky to get the whole afternoon for free from the Oak Bay bike rental and was excited fitting my rented helmet on my head so that my ears wouldn't stick out like jug handles as they usually do. Had I left the keys in the car? Had the doors automatically locked so that I couldn't get at them? Had I left the keys on the ground outside the car for a person to find and drive ooff with the car?

As I rounded the corner on to Catherine Street, I saw the car. I couldn't believe my luck and that was compounded by the fact that the keys were lying untouched on the front seat AND THE CAR HAD NOT AUTOMATICALLY LOCKED!  I rushed in to touch Barbara in the hope that my incredible good fortune might stay with me a while more and transfer to her so that her back would be miraculously healed. Unfortunately this

did not happen and Barbara is still waiting for time do what only it can. 

It's evening now, and I am enjoying a quiet rest after a wonderful bike ride along the Galloping Goose with Bill and Sharon. 

Bill, me and Sharon at the Lido Bistro on the waterfront in Victoria where we ate the best halibut tacos I have ever eaten. 

Mom and Jay

Mom died on July 4 in the evening. She did not 'go easy into that good night'.  She had told the doctor that she wanted to have the week of radiation but I think it killed her. She said many times after dad died that she wanted to go with him but didn't know how to do it. Strangely she did. Her characteristic decision to fight lymphoma with the biggest guns in the arsenal is ultimately what did her in, I think. She was too old and weak for a full week of radiation. She experienced a lot of pain, suffered a pulmonary embolism and spent some days in and out of  pain and anxiety in the cancer ward before finally being settled in the wonderful hospice connected with the Royal Jubilee Hospital where she had a few days of calm before dying so peacefully that Bill who was in a chair beside was not aware of the exact moment. She took the hard way but did get what she had really wanted for five months. 

I left her in the hospice after she had been about a day without showing any signs of consciousness. She knew how much I wanted to be in Vernon to greet Jay, May and the girls, so I think she would have understood my choosing to join them. Although she did tell me on the second day as we were sitting by her bed in the cancer ward that she had figured out that Bert could pick up Jay's family if I was in Victoria. Her brain was rarely idle. I hope she now is finally enjoying 'the peace that passeth understanding'.  

It was really thrilling to look through the window of the Kelowna airport and see Jay, May and the girls collecting their carry on bags from the racks outside the plane and heading up to join us. They had 3 boxes, 5 big bags and 5 carry ons plus purses and pillows. Bert's car and mine were full to bursting. But we made it and now I'm the only one awake. The girls went right to sleep. The adults ate and then Jay went to sleep. May and I went outside, walked around the yard, did a bit of weeding and watering and came back in. She unpacked a bit but is now in bed, where I will be too very shortly. 

Jin Hee and Min Hee exhausted after the flight

Ditto for Jay

The Energizer Bunny never stops